Matters that weigh on my mind!!!

Around a quarter century ago, a tiny, underweight being came into this world.(seems so long ago…. Whew!!!)
Her young mother, aghast at the bag of bones she carried around for so long, tried all the tricks in this world to make her baby’s plaster like skin glow with health.
Her efforts went in vain for good 20 years. Then the rewards came in leaps and pounds…
The underweight baby can now almost … I mean almost compete in the lowest weight category of Sumo wrestling… (Lowest aint that low … in Sumo world by the way)

Now the young girl, (ok a quarter century old) , is blessed with a group of friends, for whom, any weight gain, even if it’s in grams is a greatest achievement. They tuck in plates of food piled so high, that you can’t see their face when they are walking around with their plates. They even shop at kid’s section in malls. She somehow learnt to live with them. Even smiling encouragingly (actually gnashing her teeth, thanking her stars she didn’t faint with shock and disbelief) when of exclaimed one day, “I really think I need to loose weight!!!”

Life plays cruel jokes. One fine day, the so called fashion gurus started campaigning for a noble cause. They called it The Size Zero Campaign, to save food on earth. The whole world (at least the female part of the world), joined hands with them in this noble cause.
She just looked on helplessly, unable to contribute to this great cause. So many people known to her lapped up this opportunity to give back to Mother Nature, by saving her plants and animals.

To add insult to injury, she suddenly noticed that even drinking plain water gets converted to fatty tissues which get deposited on her hip area. Now gym instructor also suspects, that drinking of water or eating by people surrounding her (friends, family, cubicle partners included) also causes this fat deposition. How else could the poor doctor explain, the fat deposition which is inversely proportional to food intake. ( latest on this ailment is that the poor gym guy has thrown his hat in the ring and taken to Sumo wrestling training)

By the way, friends, I’ll let you into a small secret, I have been working on a research project lately….
The effect of inhaling air on human weight, that’s my thesis topic. There is very strong proof that just breathing can cause weight gain in some human beings. The effects can be even more harmful than devouring four large Mac burgers and mountains of French fries. If anybody is facing such symptoms.. Please do get in touch with me!!!

So that’s all about the matters that weigh on my mind.. errrr.. Hips. ( running off to cajole the gym instructor from running off to Japan for the wrestling thing 🙂 )

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17 Responses to Matters that weigh on my mind!!!

  1. Karthik says:

    Lol..Nice post!

  2. burf says:

    hey please allow anonymous comments on your that blogjust because i couldn’t post the comment there, i am going to edit my latest post

  3. Deepti says:

    Karthik : heheeh thanksBurf: Done

  4. Alameen says:

    the ’25’ blues..

  5. Ravana says:

    tell me when yu get a doctorate…;-)))

  6. Anonymous says:

    Sigh…if only matters that weigh on your mind (and my mind!) can remain there! on the mind! Hey, but wouldn’t that qualify for “fat-head”??! Sighh..there is no respite whatsoever..

  7. Deepti says:

    Alameen: True true !!1Ravana: you’ll be the first to know ;))Anon: Fathead !!! now that one more perspective 😀

  8. Ravana says:

    hey what’s yu r orkut id??/

  9. Ravana says:

    we need more posts from ya!!!!

  10. Solitaire says:

    You know I seriously think that there is something like that in the american air…

  11. Deepti says:

    @Solitaire: Its there in India too 😦

  12. Eve* aka jb says:

    And what would you say of someone who was the breathing-air-weighing variety and has gone to skin-and-bones and does NOT like it either? NO ONE understands my rant. what the fish.

  13. Deepti says:

    JB: Absolutely honored you dropped by. Rant as much s you want. Grass always seems greener on the other side.. wanna swap sides for a day to find out?? What the fish.. absolutely …

  14. thomas says:

    I’ve been underweight till 15; i used to eat 5 times a day, the one extra meal at midnight, to gain weight; after trying that for a month and with unsatisfactory results, i stopped that; then i used to eat these protien biscuts for another month; still no effect. And then time passed and passed and passed. Last week i’ve been diagnosed with cholestrol. Rats!!!

  15. thomas says:

    And the funny thing is i’m still slim.

  16. thomas says:

    Blog rolling you, hope u dont mind.

  17. Deepti says:

    @Thomas : Such a rethe ironies of life, the fat wnat to get thinner and the thin want to gain weight, I know people who eat a lot but dont even gain a gram of weight. Thanks for Blog rolling 🙂

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